Down but Not Out !

WARNING !
The following Post contains Explicit Content Reader Discretion is Advised!

Last week was my worst week ever! A week I wish no one of you will ever come across..A lot of things happened to my family and it was really dreadful.
I really don't wanna go in detail so Ill keep it short! first on Monday a gang of robbers mugged by dad while coming back from the bank after taking money which was saved by him and my mom all through life in order to take my Bro to USA for his studies. He was SHOT as well and fortunately the robbers did that just to scare him and his driver and take only the money ( Thank God for that ! ) I was really scared ,sad and annoyed cos no one in my family told me about this until a friend asked me if such a thing happened.. There were tears in my eyes while i was on my way home and I couldn't control myself when I saw my Dad and cried for a long time while hugging him.. The thing that got me annoyed was that no one in my family told me about this. thinking that I would get scared.. but common I am 23 right? family is all I got and anything happening to them does make me sadder than anything else.I recovered on the same day momentarily and wanted to forget the whole thing and I must say prayers were answered by God cos I think God saved my Dad's Life.

Then it was Thursday the day Bro went to US. it was a very sad day I was thinking about it all day at work and couldn't even do my work properly.I thought I would be strong to handle it but when the time of arrival came I couldn't control myself I didn't want him to see me crying so I went out hid my emotions as much as I can till he went and then cried the whole night I couldn't sleep for a while and the emotions just ran through.. I will not see him for 2 or 3 years as its really expensive when it comes to traveling from SL to US and vice versa.But i was determined to help my parents out with the Cash to bring him back at least once cos I know they can't wait without seeing him tho we get to see him and kit through msn , Facebook etc etc.

Also my Sister is not well 2. from her childhood she has suffered from the wease and also she gets very upset soon for anything and becomes really uncontrollable and need to be looked after carefully. Lately she have been troubled by my cousins who made some bad jokes to her which she didn't like and her Boyfriend (she has one god I am the only person single in the family !) has not been nice to her lately as well and she has become sick again! I was fucking mad hearing all this shit people did /do to my Sis common why don't they take a break and do not try to understand her ? she is a very sensitive person and a small thing breaks her heart.these people don't understand that and I swear I WOULD PUNCH HER BOY'S ARSE WITH BOTH OF MY LEGS IF I EVER SEE HIS FACE ! HE IS MESSING WITH MY SISTER THAT'S THE WORST CRIME A PERSON CAN DO ! I am annoyed with my cousins 2 I talk with only a handful nowadays I have blocked them on chat and talk with them less than I used to cos for me Family comes first nothing else!.

Well that's how my week went.. I really don't know how to handle this cos I know my Mom cant cos she looks into all of these as well and also takes care of My Grandma.. I have realized that it sucks to be the elder son in the family but when its emotional I do become a baby and mad than A lion or a elephant out of control ! its sucks really but I am trying to keep calm and handle every situation tears do come emotions do run wild but i try to keep myself focused and calm my main goal is to protect my family and I m gonna do whatever it takes 2 make it right! No fucker , asshole or bitch can hurt my family members if they do I swear to myself that I will give them pain till they Die !

I wanted to write about this during the weekend but still the pain didn't ease off cos the incidents that occurred was just too much for me to handle.. However I have recovered and gonna be the Elder Son my family want me to .. I am gonna be calm as much as I can and be a role model to my bro and sis. I am gonna survive the pain and be a winner in life and bring every happiness to my family. I dont want a family for myself now cos I have one which I cherish so much its the best and will be the best.

Well some good news to share with you 2 :) Bro is safely in US and Dad also went with him and I am sure that would help him to forget the whole incident that happened with him. Bro went to his Uni yesterday so hopefully all his preparations for the new Sem will go well. Sis is still recovering I bought her pizza yesterday to eat and enjoy and make her feel better hopefully she will recover soon 2 and her BF .. he is gonna be safe for the moment...

Have a Gr8 Week Everyone ! and May the Noble Triple Gem Bless U Always !

Until Next Time..

~Peace~

Muse - Starlight

Enjoy =D

In Transition

The past few days have been hard for me.. work has been hectic and monotonous and days just going with the same routine day in and day out.. Malli will be leaving in another week which is still have been hard for me to take and my seeing my Grandmother suffering from pain though I do my utter best to make her happy and bring a smile to her face.

I dont know the meaning of life really why we are born just to suffer pain, sadness and suffering. I mean we are born giving pain to our moms we live in pain though we see some happiness which is just an illusion to keep you away from the bad thoughts and then we go giving pain and sadness to others.. whats the point of life? if this is all we are left in the end?

anyways I am moving towards being an adult now and its happening faster than I expected. I have realized the importance of spending quality time with my family which I do every weekend with seldom going out for parties and other acts of mutual pleasure. I have realized the value of money I earn and I am not being the spendthrift I used to be now spending money for the important things and to make my family members happy. I am trying my best to be a role model to my bro and sis be the elder brother they want and be the one that guides them out of darkness.. I dont think of myself anymore now cos its no use cos if then I would become a selfish person which has been a quality I have never had and never want to have.

I just wish my bro and sis realize my feelings I just wanted to spend some quality time together with them before malli goes to US but he is always out and nangi has classes last Friday I was in tears and as I told my dad about my plans and how its not working out for me why am I sooo unlucky??? A questions I just need a damn answer.. I wont be seeing my bro for 2 years after he goes next week why dont god let me spend a little bit of quality time with him before he goes?? its really sad I think I am getting a bit emotional now..

I am taking everything on a positive note and hopefully I would be able to fulfill my ambition before he leaves.. I will miss him I will badly miss him but if this happens it will take that pain away at least to a small extent.

well on a positive note... my driving has become gradually good during the past few days I have been going to classes on weekends and with the help of a good tutor I am beginning to get confident behind the wheel.. I ain't thinking about these kinda of things to much and its helping me to improve my skills even at work its working for me cos I have become a more of a relaxed person when doing things that matters with positivity and focus.

anyways its gonna be another hectic week.. work ,traveling , thoughts and experiences
life goes on as it is and as life goes on I am also moving on from being the once crazy kid with the glasses to a man who knows his responsibilities and has a clear mission to be a Success !

till next time

~Peace~